Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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