you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Is it because I queefed?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need water and some morals
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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