i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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