you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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