Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How's work?
Spinning.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
