You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
