Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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