If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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