What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
