Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize