Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
