he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
