Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
