If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
