Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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