the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
