Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
