At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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