NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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