So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
