Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
