well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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