it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I met the friendliest cop last night
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
