There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
