the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
