'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
