dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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