oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
