How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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