At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
