so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
