I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
