im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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