Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Randomize
