these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
