I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
What drink are we having for lunch?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
