Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
