If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
