with your own penis?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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