I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
