I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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