i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
