I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
