I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
pop tarts are not kleenex
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
