no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Acid is not a monday night drug
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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