something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
