so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
