idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
