oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
