Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
