I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
